Existential thoughts on my Birthday

I know there will come a time my child (hopefully, children) will read this blog and have an insight to how their father thinks. I have spent my birthday on the "far away place" which comes with being an expat worker for the past 6 years. There 's no perfect time to think about existential thoughts but on birthdays.

I still have my best days ahead of me even though I'm closer to 40 than 30. Yet, I'm still not sure what to do with my life other than spend it with the ones I love. My daughter is still young and I would need to work until such time she is finish with school and we have enough to build a small business and passive income.

I'm nearing a turning point, I promised my daughter I will no longer work in this far away place and I will come home for good. That's 3 months from now. But what should I do next?

I've come to a conclusion that I hate my job or maybe just the events as of late that makes me hate it even more. But my best chance of earning is to keep on the same path in the last 12 years.

I always tell my wife that our children should pursue what they love and don't make your choice of career based on possible monetary rewards. The traditional way that we are brought up is to choose careers with the highest paying salaries -- e.g. engineer, lawyers, doctors, scientists... just look at my elementary grad book and the ambitions that children specify that time only revolves with those occupations. It's because the parents of those parents (literally, great grand parents) were brought up in farms or menial labor and believes that the only way out of the poor provincial life is to become an employee of a big firm.

The cliche saying is "Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life" and it's 100% true. So here I am, doing a work I'm not passionate about and I'm still not quite sure what I want to do next.

Does it worry me? No. I'm quite excited, actually. You can't put deadlines in these kind of things. Life is a continuous evolution. What you wanted to do when you were 5 years old might be different with what you want to do when you're 25 but nevertheless don't stop looking for that thing that will make you wake up early in the morning and stay up late at night.

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